Please don't wake me, no don't shake me, leave me where I am
An oscillation between being and identification with a conceptual being narrative seems what it's come to.
It's hard to say “I” am in control of it, given “I” is one of the concepts in the narrative, thus arguably emergent, mere phenomenon, hardly in a position to reach outside the domain of its emergence to affect the domain from whence its domain emerges.
There seems to be a deeper “I”, but it's not the one associated with “me” and the rest of the me/<name> narrative.
The oscillation isn't unlike movie scene transitions, dream transitions, etc.
Which makes sense given what life is but.