Guess who's crabby today?

A large part of my general life meh of late pertains to the lie of online tech making life simpler/better.

Case in point. I have a mortgage with a banking institution that I also have a savings and checking account with. I want to pay off the mortgage. So I login, and attempt to transfer the close-out amount from the savings account to the mortgage account.


Nope. No can do:

If your payment is intended to pay-off and close a mortgage loan, please document your request and send a cashier's check, certified check, attorney escrow check, wire transfer or check drawn from any XXX account, made payable to: <address>

Say what the fuck?

That was a couple weeks ago. I finally had time to followup by calling the phone number included in the above message (not shown), i.e. call their “help center”, which led to giving information I really can't believe is necessary for a general question.. then a maze of phone menu options, leading me to a “place” where I could “enter the day the payout is to last until” (What? WTF does that mean?), hammered on the # key until other menu options were spoke again (and of course the experience was feeling like a mix of molasses and cement by then)... which led to my being able to specify a “callback” date/time, which could be either 15 minutes from that point, or tomorrow (seriously?)... well, I couldn't wait the 15 minutes knowing it probably wasn't going to be 15 minutes (you know how that works... if you wait, it's an hour and fifteen minutes or more or maybe even never.. but if you leave, the call occurs nine seconds after you've moved out of being-able-to-hear-the-ringer range...), and knowing my wife and I wanted to get a walk in (without it being polluted by having to handle a phone call that would likely require me to enunciate PII in public..)... so now I'm allegedly going to be called at 9:30am tomorrow morning.. and of course by then things in mind now will be long gone – until I remember them after hanging up, of course, and facing yet another Mount Everest of phone menu options....

It just boggles my mind I can't simply transfer the funds given it's the same institution. Is there some quasi-religious magick that pertains to mortgage loans? Is it too hard for them to figure out how much interest to charge given this might occur on a day other than the usual payment day? What...? MOTHERFUCKING WHAT?!?!?!

And yet to hear “tech types” talk these days, you'd think we'd already attained unto some sort of nirvana.

Oh? Is that why in 1998 search results led me to pages containing mostly useful information, but now just as I'm about to maybe ascertain where the actual information is on a page, there'll be a modal popup welcoming me, another after closing that one to coerce accepting “cookies” – often with no alternative but to accept... after which I'm lucky if the page isn't jumping around so goddamned much for rectangular advertising areas auto-inserting, often consisting of video content with either blasts me scared-shitless because the previous thing I listened to had a much lower volume level (after which I forgot to mute sound..), or there's no sound at all because the player itself has its own volume control that starts out muted.. and I've probably clicked on at least one link I didn't want to because of all that screen jump.. and of course that most likely will replace what I was looking at, so that if I go back to the previous page, I'll have to sit through all that happy javascript horseshit all over again....

So, I mean... just sooooooo fucking tired of all the lies surrounding the idiotic online “tech” space. Ugh. Go fuck yourselves you assfuck front-end developers turning what used to be useful into suuuuuuuuch an exercise in misery....